What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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