the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
