So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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