i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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