I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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