if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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