We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
