Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize