Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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