Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize