I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
