brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
