oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
