You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
