I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
