Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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