Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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