Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
