For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
