what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The power of my boobs compel you
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
