The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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