we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
