I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize