so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
