Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
