My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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