i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
