All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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