hotel room ftw
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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