margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So much rum. So many feels.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
