Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
