Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
