im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
