I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
