I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
