My liver just broke up with me...
oh god the rape fog is back!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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