playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
