Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
