Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I believe in your delicious
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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