If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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