I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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