I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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