I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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