okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
