I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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