So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
