I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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