first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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