i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize