what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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