I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
