so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.