I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
they're staring at me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.