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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  which gay bar do you need a ride home from?

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• (707): View more from California

  i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.

  Fav 24 5354 1656

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

  Fav 25 3061 6008

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.

  Fav 28 6438 5038

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  The chlamydia really affected his face.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry my hands just texted you

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (323): View more from California

  I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day

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• (817): View more from Texas

  you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"

  (682): View more from Texas

  God please dont post that to facebook.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..

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