In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
50% drunk capacity currently
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch