That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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