i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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