Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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