Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Pappa wants mamma naked
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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