i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
