You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize