I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
