And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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