he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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