Three words: puerto rican gang bang
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
