worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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