it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think people are normalizing furries
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
