You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
