So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
