is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
