I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
